darkest time..

long time ago, i've seen myself choosing a path.

a path that i once chose...

a path that i've always loved to try, a path that seemed all so bright and shiny for me, that's the least what i thought at the very first place.

then, my mom suggested me to think bigger, saying what i loved is ancient, nowadays humans are working on for the new era, revive by what i think stunningly fragile pieces of technology, and that i shall never make a way out of it. time after time, it fades down to drain, fitted just the way how my mom would have wanted to.

right now,  

either do i still understand that deep inside me, still have a heart for world history.

or can i find myself a path.. at the crossroad.

in that split second, i felt a slit of embarrassment.

my heart was cut into hundred pieces.

do you have a moment that you have lots of people talking around you,

but you can't have their conversations all interpret to your brain,

as if you can't hear a thing but nodding your head anyway?

in such situation;

do you know what's worth fighting for?

when it's not worth dying for?

does it take your breath away

and you feel yourself suffocating?

does the pain weigh out the pride?

and you look for a place to hide?

did someone break your heart inside?

you're in ruins

one, 21 guns

lay down your arms, give up the fight

one, 21 guns

throw up your arms into the sky, you and i

when you're at the end of the road

and you lost all sense of control

and your thoughts have taken their toll

when your mind breaks the spirit of the soul

your faith walks on broken glass

and hangover doesn't pass

nothing's ever built to last

you're in ruins

did you try on live on your own

when you burned down the house and home?

did you stand too close to the fire

like a liar seeking for forgiveness from a stone?

when it's time to live and let die

and you can't get another try

something inside this heart has died

you're in ruins

21 guns- green day